Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize