she was so not down for the gang bang
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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