i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
