she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
