Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
