absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
