Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
