After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i think my mom watched the whole time
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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