i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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