she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
