Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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