Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
