i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
