alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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