3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
