My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
