Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
