hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
