Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I could fuck to npr.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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