That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize