i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
