I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
