I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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