he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
