We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
