Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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