Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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