you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
