community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
