After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
