Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
