Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
