i think i have herpe
just one?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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