I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
