12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
