I just threw up on my dentist
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
