I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
id be glad to
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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