Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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