doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
