doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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