guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
