Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
