I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
