I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Randomize