I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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