hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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