Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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