why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
