the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
