Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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