So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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