you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize