Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
