The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
