he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
