Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize