Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
