Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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