brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
