Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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