Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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