This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
