There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
