I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
